I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
