She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What a dumb baby whore.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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