I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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