Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
