FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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