Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He better not be in your backpack
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
