dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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