Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
