dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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