I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
