Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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