now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
