so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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