so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
