I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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