3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
