no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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