my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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