After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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