Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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