OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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