The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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