Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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