i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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