i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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