There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
