Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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