apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
