Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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