I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
