how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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