best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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