The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
