puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
