I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Acid is not a monday night drug
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
