If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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