My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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