I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
This is my gift to your gina
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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