What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just googled if crying burns calories
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
