Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
