So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
