I CAN MOONWALK!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
