It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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