I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
True college students do jello shots in the library
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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