just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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