Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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