All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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