im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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