we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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