we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
