you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
this boner is exhausting
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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