I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
