Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
