So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
